Wow. That guy.

Completely exhausted and worn out.  That would be me right now.  I just spent the last hour trying to soothe and calm our little boy and get him into bed.  Ben’s at our small group for church, so I’m alone at the moment.  The past two weeks nighttime has become extremely difficult.  I think he’s starting to catch on because as soon as we enter the bedroom at night with the lights off he starts fussing. I can have him completely calm and then it’s over once he realizes it’s bedtime – and this is even before we put him down.  He then proceeds to scream at the top of his lungs (while we hold him) – I know he’s okay, he’s just extremely angry.  And strong willed.  The last week it has taken anywhere from 30 minutes (on the very good end), but closer to 2-3 hours to put him to bed.  Last night Ben managed in 30 minutes.  It was amazing – he’s my hero.  Like usual, Samuel lost his temper as soon as he realized it was bedtime and then cried to no avail (all while Ben’s holding him) – and Ben, at loss for what to do calmly and sternly reprimanded him by saying his name very calmly.  It was amazing – Samuel completely responded and would stop crying.  Whenever he started getting really worked up again, Ben would do the same thing.  He managed to calm him that way and was able to get him to bed.  Tonight, I was alone and not sure how I would manage.  Of course, Ben’s strategy didn’t work for me when he got angry.  So I ended up calmly holding and rocking him as he screamed for 25 minutes (I did cry twice myself).  He was so angry and just wouldn’t be calmed.  I know I could have calmed him by leaving the room and giving up on bedtime, but at that point I felt like that would be admitting defeat and he’d never go down.  He finally calmed down but it then took another twenty minutes to fully settle him.  Then he went down great, fully awake, all while playing with his hands (he’s really into his hands right now).  And now, he’s sound asleep, as if none of that ever happened. But I didn’t think I could sleep until I got to debrief because that was just so hard.  But, he’s still my favorite little guy.  I think I’ll finish my tea and head to bed, but before I do – I’ll post a few pictures of our little man…

Sleepy after a nap

Tummy time

Chill

Loving his tag blanket!

Dear God...

Grandpa R and Mama Lisa

This week Ben and I had a visit from Grandpa & Grandma (a.k.a dad and mama Lisa).  I think I’ll start referring to them as Grandpa R & Mama Lisa, but we’ll see what Samuel decides to call them.  It was so fun to watch them get to meet Samuel and to see our life here in England.  It’s weird watching your parents as grandparents…I don’t remember that far back of course, so it provides a whole new perspective.  We absolutely loved our time with them.  We took it easy, but also managed to get out and see a few things.  I think they brought the cold weather with them because just days before their arrival we had 70 degree weather, and this last week we had snow!  It was actually kind of fun though.  It provided a good excuse to cozy up inside.  We did manage to get out for afternoon tea on our snow day.  Unfortunately, they were out of scones, but we enjoyed pudding (dessert) with our tea instead.  We also enjoyed showing them Durham, some of our local pubs, and then York one day.  Unbeknownst to us, the Queen was in York the day we were there!  The crowds were unbelievable…we had to try to stay two steps ahead of wherever she was to avoid the masses.  We initially were going to try to wait around to see her, but the wait was too long for Samuel so we left.  But, my dad just happened to see her later that day as she was getting into her car.  We don’t have a picture to prove it, but it’s true!  I loved exploring, but I still think one of the highlights for me was our time spent together at our place, especially watching Dad and Lisa with Samuel.  We had many good conversations over lots of yummy food.  I especially loved our mornings together (good coffee and good company always makes me happy).  It was a great visit, and we were sad to see them leave.  The last time we saw them was the summer of 2009 – almost two years ago now.  Thankfully we won’t have to go that long this time as we’ll be seeing them this summer.  We are so blessed by wonderful parents on both sides and are so grateful for their love and support.  And now for the pictures, which is what you all want to see anyways!

Dad and Samuel

In York with Grandpa R and Mama Lisa

York

A new day

This morning, I am so grateful for a new day: for decent sleep last night (up only once), for the great cup of coffee in my hands, and for a precious baby that is sleeping soundly.  Yesterday was a long day.  I was in great need of an extra dose of patience.  And it was one of those cold, colorless days that seemed to seep into my very bones.  (I’d like to add that it took great self control to not write ‘colourless’…the British way of spelling things is beginning to look better to me.)  My dear little boy is just so curious, and just doesn’t like sleeping during the day unless I’m holding him or we’re on the go.  I’m trying to sleep train him to take naps properly, upstairs in his cot, so we can establish some good patterns.  But, yesterday he would have none of it.  And the poor guy was just so tired and fussy by the end of it all.  But, we made it through.  And it’s a new day.  And, it’s Mother’s Day here.  So, I get two this year!  Ben got me a lovely bouquet of roses and I even got a sweet card from Samuel.  I am so grateful for my beautiful little son, he is such a little miracle.  He is so happy and curious and really is such a sweet little guy.  I can’t wait to see . . . wait – I CAN wait . . . but I’m very excited to see what he will be like as he grows up.  Thank you Lord for little Samuel.

And now, to finish that coffee and get a shower.

Infectious smile - I know I've posted this on Facebook before but it really captures his great little smile. It's impossible not to melt a little each time he smiles at me.

Thanks Ben!

Play time

Displaying his outfit - hat knitted by grandma Cheryl, sweater by our lovely neighbor's mum, and trousers from my friend Alex. Thanks guys!

Motherhood

Well, this will have been the third blog post I’ve started but not managed to finish since Samuel’s been born.  It’s a bit difficult finding time with two free hands these days. I’m quickly working my way to becoming ambidextrous.  I absolutely love being the mom to little Samuel.  He is such a joy.  He doesn’t always wake up happy, but sometimes he does and it’s one of my absolute favorite things.  He can be so smiley, and he smiles not only with his mouth but his eyes.  I love it.  My other all time favorite, is getting to watch how amazing Ben is with him.  I always knew he’d be a great dad, but seeing him action is a whole other thing.  He’s fabulous.  The first six weeks or so, Ben would get up with him after the last feed of the night & put him back down for me (usually between 5-7am).  He’d bring the moses basket downstairs and put him back to sleep downstairs so I could have undisturbed sleep and he could try to get some thesis work done.  Samuel’s usually quite a grunter in the later hours of the morning, which makes it harder to get good sleep.  Very often, I would come downstairs (by 10-11am), feeling amazing, to find Ben laying on the couch or in the chair with Samuel completely asleep on his chest. Sometimes they’d both be out, other times Ben would be managing to get some thesis work done at the same time.  Now that Ben’s back to getting up around 6am to work on the thesis (baby-free), I think he misses his morning snuggles with Samuel.  And just to give him full credit, these weren’t the only times he’d be up with me in the night to help out.  I was so grateful for the support in the wee hours of the night, especially as it took awhile to heal up from my c-section.

Now, Samuel’s getting up 1-2 times each night…not bad!  It often feels like we have 4 steps forward, and 1 step back.  But overall, each week is getting easier.  Seven weeks seemed to be a turning point for us.  I’m still figuring him out, but we’re getting there.  Being a mom is amazing, but definitely hard work.  I knew it would be, but you can’t always anticipate what it will be like until you’re there.  Sleep deprivation brings with it a whole new perspective.  A few weeks ago I was having a particularly rough day.  Samuel was especially fussy and insisted on being held all the time.  I tried everything, and each time I put him down it was like the world was ending.  And with no time to brush my teeth or shower, by 2pm I was quickly loosing patience, and on the verge of tears multiple times (actually, not even on the verge).  I believe that was the day Ben received a text from me asking when he would be home (or rather, demanding).  Thankfully, he did come and save the day – literally.  It’s amazing how 30 minutes to yourself to shower and get ready can feel like the best thing in the world.  Thanks Ben.  I’m learning to appreciate the small things in life – breakfast undisturbed  (meaning with two hands free), a shower without a crying baby, and time to use the toilet alone.  All of which means, I’m blessed with food on the table, the ability to clean and running water, and a beautiful family.  I never want to take these wonderful things for granted.  And on that note, I’ll upload a few pictures and then I must get showered!

Holding on for dear life!

My boys

Ben in the mornings with Samuel

Introducing Samuel Ronald Michael Johnson!

After a long day yesterday, I am happy to announce that at 12:10pm today January 6, 2012, we welcomed our son Samuel Ronald Michael Johnson into the world! He was born 7 pounds 14 ounces, I don’t know the length (they don’t do that at this hospital). Both he and Sarah are doing fine. He cried before they had even cut the cord (which was great to hear) and he is a very healthy eater. We are so blessed! For the record, it might interest you all to know that I (Ben) changed the first diaper and didn’t get peed on (he was nice enough to aim it at the midwife!). Since, I know you’d rather I showed you than told you here are some highlights from the day:

 

 

Results of today…

Well, today they tried to turn our little guy with no success.  He just wouldn’t turn, and would only really move part way before stopping.  It’s a bit tough as I’m running out of space for him to be turned, and he must be pretty set on being born breech!  I felt really confident in our doctors skill, and he gave the most amount of pressure he felt comfortable giving without doing any damage.  I have to be honest, it was the strangest feeling.  My head was more down than my feet, in hopes that gravity would assist and they gave me a muscle relaxant.  Then, he used his skill to try & get him to turn.  But first, he had to bring him up towards my lungs which was perhaps the most uncomfortable part of it all as it made me sweat profusely, and made it difficult to breathe.  Then, he tried getting him to turn but he just wouldn’t budge despite all the efforts.  It was just so strange & uncomfortable.  But, it’s over & he’s healthy & okay so that’s all that matters!  I’m still hoping he’ll decide to turn on his own but I somehow doubt it.  We’ve decided to go ahead with a scheduled c-section next Thursday, the 5th, unless of course he flips on his own or I go into labor before then.  Stay tuned for more details later…

38 week update

Well, I can hardly believe I’m over 38 weeks.  I don’t know where the time has gone, but it has completely flown by.  Maybe it’s due to Christmas, and now New Years, but I don’t feel like the time is dragging on – which is great!  I’m so excited to meet this little guy, and although I am feeling rather large these days, I’m trying to still enjoy every minute of the pregnancy & get things done before his arrival.  However, I do feel a little like he’s running out of space in there.  And I’m just so curious what he’s going to be like – and what we’re going to name him!  We still haven’t decided, and at this point, I think we’re waiting to meet him to make the decision.

As of last Friday, he was still breech, and weighing approximately 6 pounds, 11 ounces.  And of course, his head is still in the 95-100% percentile.  I’m hoping that’s not completely accurate!  Tomorrow I’m off to the hospital for them to try & manually turn him.  Please pray it’s successful, but most of all that he tolerates it well.  If it doesn’t work, we’ll most likely be scheduling a c-section shortly after 39 weeks – which isn’t that far off.  But, I’ll think about that if & when that is to happen.  For now, here’s praying he flips.

38 weeks, 1 day

Some of baby J's gifts from friends...

Nearly ready!

At just about 38 weeks